Astrid Confesses
“Hi, My name is Astrid, and I have been accused of being naughty.” Purrhaps you remember this photo from our Wordless Wednesday post. It was titled, “The Opportunist.”
Most of you assumed that Lisbeth had taken the lid off of those treats she was stuffing in her face. I’d like to confirm that, but I have been hypnotized or brainwashed, as I feel compelled to admit I was the one who did the deed.
That’s right, this sweet, innocent-faced cat was the perpetrator. But it was not my fault. Mom remembered, as she was keeping her appointment with Mr. Sandman, she had noticed after dinner that Dad had not put our treats away but left them on the counter. She knew that both Lily and I could open these containers as she’d previously caught each of us in the act of doing so. But being the lazy sloth that she is, she decided not to go back downstairs and put them away.
You are now probably wondering why I am confessing. After all, Lily Olivia also knows how to open these containers. But, unfortunately for me, Lily sleeps with the humans in bed, and I always stay downstairs by myself at night.
As you can see, what happened is clearly not my fault. I was simply hunting prey as cats do. Dad’s the one who left the treats unattended, and Mom was too lazy to come downstairs and put them away.
But as I said, something has control of my brain and is forcing me to say: “My name is Astrid and I have been naughty. I will not, however, discuss just how many of the treats I personally ate prior to Lisbeth discovering them.”
Fiona Confesses (Sort Of)
“Hi, my name is Fiona, and I have been naughty.” What? No I haven’t. That’s a crock! I am always a good girl…well, almost always. You might recall that I recently was allowed to join Mom in the garden even though she claimed I had been naughty the night before. Here’s another photo from that day. Look at that innocent face!
This is the incident as she remembers it. (There is not photographic evidence.) When I was called to come to dinner on the night of the so-called naughtiness, I did not come. That’s not unusual. I often don’t report for breakfast or dinner. The goop some of you call stinky goodness does not appeal to me..
I was not on the catio, so the humans assumed (and we all know what that means) I was in Dad’s closet…my favorite hangout where I can think my private thoughts without being pestered.
After the humans fixed and ate their dinner and cleaned up the kitchen, Mom checked the front door to make certain it was locked prior to retiring upstairs. As she was doing this, she saw a flash of grey fur. It took her a couple eye blinks to realize the flash was me. She immediately opened the door and hollered for me to get in the house. I bolted and took off around the back of the house. You see, I never enter or exit the house from the front door.
In a matter of moments, Mom was holding the screen door open to the catio as I came up the back steps. Without a word from Mom, I sprinted through the screen door and then the back door into the house.
Like Lisbeth with the spilled treats, I was merely taking advantage of a situation created by someone else…Dad! Several hours before I was discovered Dad had failed to latch the screen door securely when he came in the from the yard. So evidently, this escape was not my fault. I will not make any additional statements as to whether or not my actions can be considered naughty. I will let our readers be the judge of that.
But as you can see, it is our humans who are at fault in both these situations and should be the ones forced to join Naughtiness Anonymous. How many of you have humans who try to blame their naughty behavior on you?
We think this is may be another case to be reported to N.U.C.A.T.
Purrs and paw-pats, Astrid and Fiona
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