It’s not as if I haven’t lived here since I was just a few months old and celebrated every other birthday here.
I know this has happened to others, but displeasing a calico is never a good idea. We can get very snippy and take out our displeasure on those who have disappointed us. A few well-placed claw gouges are not out of the realm of possibilities.
The stoopid human who types this blog thinks she can make this up to me by putting this goofy tiara on my head and giving my photo a fancy border. Granted, I look adorable, but “too little too late” is what I say.
She thinks that my getting first crack at the PetBox this month and last month should be compensation enough. Not! She didn’t have to buy any of that stuff, and I ultimately have to share everything.
I want a party. I want as much stinky goodness as I can eat, an entire package of treats all to myself and nip…lots and lots of nip. I want all the other cats, each of whom came here after I did, sent away to cat boarding school for the remainder of my life. I want reparation!
The female human (I refuse to call her Mom at this point) says that she is getting older and her memory isn’t as good as it used to be. I say that excuse is totally bogus. I am 81 in human years and she is only 12 in cat years. The way I see it, no matter how you slice it, I am older than she is and deserve her humble submission and respect.
If anyone can think of an appropriate punishment for he and the female, purrlease let me know. Until I come up with something equivalent to the crime, I will be pouting.
Pouts and paw-pats, Lily Olivia
p.s. Purrlease join us this weekend for our Sunday Selfies Blog Hop. Seeing all your cute photos might cheer me up a little.