Poetry

CAT CONSPRIRACY

I have just discovered
that James Thurber and I
have something in common,
or we would
if he were still alive.
I wish it were our wit,
Rather, it’s our
method of falling asleep.
When I invented it, I
had no idea that someone
could have possibly
thought of it before.
Now I find, I am
a novice at this game
of choosing a letter
and reciting words
until overtaken
by sleep. Let’s just pick
P, for example, (actually
my favorite): peach, pear, plum,
pomegranate, pineapple, potato,
parsnip, persimmon, popcorn,
punch, peppermint, pickle,
pecan and pumpkin.
I think you can
see how my mind
runs. Thurber was much more
adept, combining first
letters like S & M —
in my case that would be
simple-minded — or R & B
— rattlebrained. I never
conceived of taking my little
recitation through such elaborate
maneuvers, but that is probably
why I manage to fall asleep
and poor old Thurber
would lie awake listening
for the caterwauling cacophony
of a congregation of cross-eyed
cats caught in a …

Janet Buickerood Blue
© 1988
Reprinted from Gryphon, Vol. XIII, No. 1
The University of South Florida

SUMMER CAT

Here I lie on my back
four white paws waving in the air,
waiting for a cool breeze
to ruffle my belly fur…
the pavement, a warm hug
and place to scratch my back
until the heat overcomes me.
I seek shade among
the fluorescent orange daylilies
and purple morning glories.
I hide from
the piercing sun, humans,
Lily and Mauricio,
who will steal
my resting place,
should I be discovered.
All desirable sanctuaries
can be compromised
by another creature seeking
refuge from the unwavering
summer sun and its unremitting
baking heat. If one comes sniffing
around my secret garden, I
must hiss and snarl, expending
my limited energy,
until finally I hear the call
that my dinner awaits
and I am summoned
to re-enter my home
where pockets of darkness,
cool air, toys and treats prevail.

Janet Buickerood Blue
© July 14, 2013

A Thanksgiving Poem
by Mauricio

Sometimes my mother
calls me a turkey. But
I know she must be
joking. I don’t have
feathers but black and white
furs. And though I can be
really loud, I don’t gob…,
gobble, gobble, but
meow and purr!

Just in case I’m not
a cat, but a mutant
Thanksgiving turkey,
I’m going to find a place
to hide ‘til dinner-
time is well finished,
so I won’t be plumply stuffed
roasted, carved and served.

Besides…I think I am
More of a ham
than a turkey.

© Bobcat Mauricio Blue
November 2013

 

THE 12 DAYS OF CATMESS

On the first day of Catmess my true love gave to me, a partridge with some nip tea.

On the second day of Catmess my true love gave to me, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

On the third day of Catmess, my true love gave to me, three fried hens, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

On the fourth day of Catmess my true love gave to me four broiled birds, three fried hens, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

On the fifth day of Catmess, my true love gave to me, five pheasant wings, four broiled birds, three fried hens, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

On the sixth day of Catmess, my true love gave to me, six geese in gravy, five pheasant wings, four broiled birds, three fried hens, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

On the seventh day of Catmess, my true love gave to me, seven swans-a-simmering, six geese in gravy, five pheasant wings, four broiled birds, three fried hens, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

On the eighth day of Catmess, my true love gave to me, eight squirrel Schnitzels, seven swans-a-simmering, six geese in gravy, five pheasant wings, four broiled birds, three fried hens, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

On the ninth day of Catmess, my true love gave to me, nine lox for licking, eight squirrel Schnitzels, seven swans-a-simmering, six geese in gravy, five pheasant wings, four broiled birds, three fried hens, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

On the tenth day of Catmess, my true love gave to me, ten bugs in butter, nine lox for licking, eight squirrel Schnitzels, seven swans-a-simmering, six geese in gravy, five pheasant wings, four broiled birds, three fried hens, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

On the eleventh day of Catmess, my true love gave to me, eleven prawns with pasta, ten bugs in butter, nine lox for licking, eight squirrel Schnitzels, seven swans-a-simmering, six geese in gravy, five pheasant wings, four broiled birds, three fried hens, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

On the twelfth day of Catmess, my true love gave to me, twelve rodents roasting, eleven prawns with pasta, ten bugs in butter, nine lox for licking, eight squirrel Schnitzels, seven swans-a-simmering, six geese in gravy, five pheasant wings, four broiled birds, three fried hens, two turtle stews and a partridge with some nip tea.

© Bobcat Mauricio Blue
December 2013
 
CALL ME YOUR MAU BLUE *My guardian star began to glow
The day that I met you.
It became glittery the day you said, yes,
And you promised me your love so true.
Like it, I’m sure of my lasting love for you.
When it’s time to call on me,
Ask for your Mau Blue.
I’m your Mau Blue (wah-a-wah-ooh)
When you say you love me (your Mau Blue).
Then show it by cuddlin’ at Campfire
Provin’ your love is true,
Call me your Mau Blue.
I’m your Mau Blue (wah-a-wah-ooh)
When you say you’re smitten (your Mau Blue),
Then turn around, smooch me on the face
Tinglin’ me through and through,
Call me your Mau Blue.
I stay at Campfire each night (at Campfire each night)
Right by the fire at night (by the fire at night)
And you snuggle close
And I-I won’t le-ave your side (call me your Mau Blue)
I wanna tell you (wah-a-wah-ooh)
While we paint the town (your Mau Blue)
A bright red to turn it upside down,
I’m proud to be paintin’ it with you.
Call me your Mau Blue (wah-a-wah-ooh).
Call me your Mau Blue (wah-a-wah-ooh).‘Cause I love you true. Mauricio Blue
January 4, 2014
* Sung to the tune of “Mr. Blue” and written for AllieA CAT’S HEARTMy kitties in love is a
miraculous thing. Who knew
having a blog could bring two
furry critters together
in such a special way to
set their hearts aflutter and
have them sending e-mail love
notes and kitty kisses to
each other. Allie and Mau
Sampson and Astrid…smitten,
sharing thoughts and dreams, sending
small tokens of affection.
As a cat mom, I am over-
joyed when my kitties are
playful and content…catnip
mice, treats and red dots give joy
to kitties. Now it seems love
in Spring cat happiness brings.© Janet Blue April 14, 2014MUSINGS OF A SHELTER CATOh, look at that one. Doesn’t
she look nice? Do you think she’ll
notice me? Maybe she’ll want
to hold me. I’m going to
purr really loud. Maybe she’ll
hear me and come this way. She’s
not taking the bait. Should I
meow? Maybe she likes
talkative cats. No…nothing!
Maybe I should roll around,
show her I like to play. Maybe
she likes active cats. No…
she’s leaving. She didn’t even
look my way. She probably
wants a kitten and thinks I’m
to old to adopt. Oh, look
at that one. He looks nice. I
think he’s a cat man. Prrrr…
prrrr…prrrr…prrr!© Janet Buickerood Blue
June 29, 2014The Legend of MAUverickThis is the story of a purrported gunslinger and cardshark, MAUverick, and his beautiful and genteel girlfriend, Allie Scarlett. (She is not related to Austin Scarlett of Project Runway Fame but legend has it that all her gowns were designed by a distant relative named Miss Melanie. They were all hand-sewn by mice seamstresses.)Getting back on track…legend has it that MAUverick could shoot the center heart out of the Ace of Hearts at a hundred paces. No photographic proof exists, so it remains a legend. All reports say, however, that he never drew his gun on any human or cat as he was a peace loving man-cat.Before meeting Allie Scarlett, MAUverick traveled the Mississippi River on the paddle-wheeled boats playing poker and telling stories about his time in the Old West. Rumor abounds that MAUverick used to keep an ace or two up his sleeve, but this has never been proved. And it is known that he was not a cat of great wealth. Any money he won at cards was always donated to a worthy cat shelter of which there were many along the Mississippi.

Once he met the beautiful and charming Miss Allie Scarlett, he gave up his wandering ways. They settled in a modest cottage in New Orleans where they ran a kitty refuge and tended a garden of cat nip in their spare time. They were said to have lived happily ever after, well into old age, never letting a day go by without holding paws and sharing tender kisses.

The End

(c) Lion Cat Scout Mauricio Blue
August 8, 2014

 

 

My Cat’s Letter to Santa Claws
Santa
Oh dearest Santa, I promise I’ve been good.
Always used my litter box and eaten all my food.
That broken lamp was a minor transgression.
I don’t think it required that time-out session.
And it wasn’t I who shred the arm of that chair.
Besides, isn’t that why they come with a pair.
The hairball on the human’s pillow didn’t come from me.
I don’t have floofy furs as you can plainly see.
And all that litter spread through the house hither to yon…
It sprang right out of the box long after I had gone.
And you know that sandwich the human left on the table…
I swear it was stolen by a stray mouse named Mabel.
And the Christmas tree that suddenly toppled over…
Was not pushed by me but a marauding gopher.
I have no idea how these critters invade my space.
I never leave the cat door open or out of place.
Oh. dearest Santa, I’ve truly never ever been naughty.
So please bring me some toys from Jackson Galaxy.
And a big bag of nip to last a whole year…
Please, oh please, oh please Santa dear.
And some nommy treats would be totally pawsome.
I’d eat every one and not leave a crumb.
For I, the cat, have been as good as a cat can be.
So please don’t pass me by this Christmas Eve.
If you’ll stop by my house once again this year,
I promise to leave cookies and a bit of good cheer beer.
And as to next year, I raise my right paw
And promise to be a good cat, oh dear Santa Claws.
Yours truly, The Cat
© Janet Buickerood Blue
Novemeber 25, 2014

Mau’s Mother’s Day Poem

My mom is patient.
My mom is kind.
My mom loves me,
Even when I don’t mind.

My mom feeds me.
My mom gives me treats.
She rubs my belly,
And she kisses my feets.

My mom thinks only of me
When she helps me with Scouts.
And she doesn’t get mad
Even when I pouts!

I love you Mom.
What more can I say?
You are the bestest mom
Each and everyday.

© Janet Buickerood Blue

 

Hugo’s Blue Moon Cafe

Remember…
the saxophone player—he
only knew
one song; and Margo, our wait-
ress—she spent
more time in the john teasing
her hair and
painting her lips; and the smoke
thick as ex-
haust from the #12 bus
that brought us,
but how we loved it…
drinking our
espresso and feeling our thighs
touching beneath the table.

© Janet Buickerood Blue
August 1, 2015

 

Purr Therapy

Your purrs sooth my soul,
Make me happy when I’m sad.
Comprehensive cure.

 

ODE TO SUMMERTIME

Oh Summertime, we dearly love you;
We will put no other season above you.
The weather is warm enough for catio time,
And birdie TV is absolutely sublime.
We love to loll upon our backs
And wait for Mom to deliver snacks.
Butterflies and bees can flit right by us,
As we’re too relaxed to make a fuss.
But summertime, please turn off the rain.
It has truly become the biggest pain.
And take away the thunder and lightening too,
As it makes us quite grumpy and blue.
We need the sun to appear each day
And bring us sunpuddles in which to play.
Otherwise we’ll nap all day beneath grey skies
To find we have frittered away our nine lives.
Oh summertime, we truly do adore you.
Now please be nice, we must implore you.
Bring us some sun and nice cool breezes,
As those things would surely please us.
Then summertime, we’ll dearly love you;
And promise to put no other season above you.

 

© Kitties Blue
June 6, 2016

 

OPT TO ADOPT ORPHAN CATS

Most of us were orphans at one time,
Whether roaming the streets or shelter confined.
But then one day our luck suddenly changed.
A human stopped in whose heart we would claim.
They took us home to keep us safe forever
With food, shelter and love as our caregiver.
So today, will you please a candle light
And pray for the orphans to not give up the fight,
As they wait and long for their special human
To find them and become their number one fan.

 

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Brenda aka Mango December 25, 2015 at 1:59 am

Oh, Hmm, a book? One called, ‘A Cat with Three Tails?’really?.three..how can this be?

Reply

Meows, purrs, hugs and MOLs are greatly appreciated. Please no hissing, spitting or scratching unless you want one of us to whap you!

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